To my cousin

Dear Louie,

Thank you for the Joy you gave me in my life. I still remember and have all the drawings we made together. I still have the cassette tape-recording of the silly talk show we made up. I still think of you when I remember running around in Grandpa and Grandma's house, in waist high grass, stopping every now and then to grab a slice of American Cheese out of the fridge. Thank you for being the little brother that I never had.

Its hard in the news when I read your name, because I can't believe they are referring to you as a man.  They are all mistaken, you are a boy, just a little boy with missing two front teeth. You are three years old and I am trying to teach you how to walk, because I didn't realize that you could already walk.  You are laughing with that big bubbly laugh, running around in the yard in the sunshine with no shoes on.

I don't know what happened to you, or what drove you to this madness, as years passed by and we grew further and further apart. I can only guess. The news suggests that you are a crazy person,  But we know the truth.  You are a son, you are a cousin, a brother, to people who raised you and nurtured you.  We know  you carried many sorrows and burdens of this world on your shoulders. You were someone who mattered and that people love.   If you only know the tears that are shed because we love you so much, and wished this is not how life had to be!  We will all miss you terribly.

Love,
JoAnna