Rules for an Oregon Snow Day
- If the Media outlets alarm people with an impending snowstorm, it will not happen. Real snow storms sneak up on you out of nowhere, usually in the middle of the night, several weeks after the news suggested it would happen.
- If during the night a snowstorm happens while your family is sleeping, Your children will somehow magically wake up an hour and a half before they normally do and be up and ready to be out the door within five minutes. Mind you it takes them an hour and a half to get ready on a regular day.
- Speaking of the news, they will give you lots of useful tips on how to cope with and handle snow, such as "don't shovel snow too quickly, it might cause a heart attack." Because you know, its awfully cold in Oregon at 30 degrees. You better be on the safe side and just leave the snow in your driveway.
- A tree will fall in your yard. But before it does, it will scout out your back yard to find the best thing to fall on. Particularity the thing that matters the most to you in your yard.
- Although your children might think they are ready to go outside, they aren't. They think that a long sleved t-shirt and sneakers is enough to go out into the snow.
- They will cancel school, because that's much better than salting the roads. Of course.
- You will spend the rest of the entire first snow day searching for gloves, boots and socks, over and over again, and cleaning snow off the floor. Because they loose them every time they come in and out. And you loose them too.
- Men everywhere suddenly realize that they need more power tools to clean up their yard. Then they risk their lives to drive to the hardware store because they now have an excuse to get that saw they've always been dreaming of getting and now have an excuse to exert their manliness by cleaning up the yard.
- The school board will cancel school for the rest of the year, just in case.
- You eat a lot of eggs from your yard because you can't freely go to the grocery store. Deviled eggs, egg casserole, baked oatmeal bars, so on and so fourth.
- You will forget that there are other people in the world than your family.
- You lay awake at night thinking wondering how you might keep your children occupied for one more day indoors, possibly without electricity.
- After five days, (which is an usually long snow day/week around here) it will be mostly safe to drive. You might think its safe to get into your car and drive somewhere, and will be excited to do so. However, everyone else in the entire city is thinking the same thing, and they are all driving around with snow flying off their automobiles. Whoo hoo look at all that stuff fly!
- You might try to get groceries only to find that there is no where to park and everyone in the whole city is also at the grocery store.
- If you happen to be from Florida, you will be astounded at how something falling so quietly could cause so much ruckus.
- Nothing in the world like a snow melt will encourage you to feel grateful for routine, sunshine and the sight of neighbors.
