So I want to be a fifties housewife

After spending a wonderful cozy Saturday morning watching "Leave it to Beaver" with my children, (and a few other fifties sitcoms) here are some of the wonderful advantages of being a 50's housewife:

1.  You get to wear pretty dresses all day, which flatter your perfect figure.
2.  Your dresses conveniently never get dirty from the labors of child rearing/home-making.
3.  You get to live in a big, beautiful house, with a good yard.
4.  You can get your hair professionally done every morning.
5.  You get to have retro-furniture without having to pay retro-furniture prices.
4.  You get to cook on a stove that was made in the 50's, and it wouldn't be over fifty years old!
5.  Your husband is amazing. He is well respected by everyone in the community, even his children!  (Not that my own non-fifties husband isn't amazing but I am just sayin)
6.  You get to hire a maid to do most of your housework.
7.  The most naughty thing your children conceive of doing is bringing home a baby alligator and try to raise it in secret, therefore they steal food from your fridge to feed the alligator.
8.  Your husband is successful, and you can afford a big beautiful house without having two incomes.
9.  You don't have an out of your house job, and yet you have a maid do a majority of your cleaning.
10.  Since you don't have a job, and someone else does most of the cleaning, you get to do tea with your friends every day.
12. You might suddenly look around and discover that your children are missing.  No worries, they probably just went downtown to buy candy alone.
13. There are no computers, internet, and very little amount of television.  Your children spend their days inventing things and playing in their neighbors yards.
12.  Because there is no media, you don't have to worry at all about what kinds of creepy things they might accidentally see on T.V. or on their cell phones.
13.  It is acceptable and common practice to greet your new neighbors with flowers and other nice things.
14. Your neighbors all know and like each other.
15.  Your conflicts are minimal, and when they occur they always get resolved within 30 minutes, with a giant family hug.
16.  You get to serve your family delicious food while your husband reads the paper.  Food which your maid probably fixed up, leaving you with only the responsibility of stirring the pot every now and then, thus allowing you to save the energy up to serve your family with a warm, kind loving glow and a big smile on your face.

Who wouldn't want to be a stay at home 50's housewife?