Blast from the past

Due to an outburst of illness in our home, I have been making chicken feet stock again, and I have decided to bring to life the chicken feet stock story:


How to Make Chicken Stock from Chicken Feet

 Directions:

1. Have your man go away for a few days out of town, and become very anxious about the sudden arrival of your newborn infant baby James.

 2.Read up on traditional foods and realize that many (Chinese people and also grandmothers of many cultures all over the world!) have been using chicken feet to create the most rich, nourishing and thick broth possible. 

3. Make a rash decision at the meat market and bring home a bag of chicken feet  without first looking at them. 

4. Open the bag, and run to the other side of the room in fear, for on your counter there are now claw- like things that resemble people's hands that have been floating dead in water for several days, with supernaturally long fingernails.

5. Call your husband.  Tell him that you made a mistake and you might want to cry.

6.  Have him tell you that if you don't cook the chicken feet, he will be very angry.

7. Brave it up:  Look for a recipe online.

8. Gather courage, is it really that hard to throw chicken feet into a pot of boiling water?  I think not.

9. Gain courage again and follow first directions in recipe.  "Place Chicken feet in four quarts of boiling water."

11. Be glad you didn't read the next step for the recipe before you accomplished the first, which says:  Remove after ten minutes from the boiling water, cool completely and then chop off the finger tips."  DO WHAT?

12.Wait with dread for the next ten minutes.  Avert your eyes from the scene of the disaster, until you just get too curious, and peek.  Warning: You will see freaky claws bouncing up and down in the pot of water, which appear as though they want to  hop out of the pot and walk toward you in anger for throwing them in there for the first place.

 13. Shudder.

 14.  Wait ten minutes, and pray really hard.  Maybe they will go away.  Nope they just don't!  

15. Throw the water-logged looking dinosaur-human hands that resemble a persons hands who may have drowned by and floating in water for several days into your colander and smile.  Okay, you made it through!  you did it!

 16. Read the next direction which happens to be a warning:  Do not use kitchen scissors to cut off the tips of the fingers, or they will go flying all over the place.

 17. Okay, where are all my Chinese friends?  Where is there a grandmother?  I scour my thoughts and think of no one who can come rescue me.  Oh no.

 18.  Hide again.

 19.  Call husband again.  No comfort there.

 20. Become brave and chop all those little fingers off.  If you don't just force yourself, you will not be able to do it.  Yay you did it!

 21.Throw the chicken feet back into the water and let simmer for four hours.

 22. Come back four hours later and find drain the chicken feet.

 23. Throw them in the trash violently then wrap the trash bag up and throw it in the trash can immediately to avoid any sort of uncomfortable mental health risks.

 23. Put broth in the fridge.

 25. Pull out when chilled.  You now have about the tastiest broth you can ever imagine.  And you will be very well pleased, and be cured of any sickness or disease, that is, if you believe in the traditional methods of the old ladies and the wise Chinese women of ages present and past.