So I want to be a fifties housewife

After spending a wonderful cozy Saturday morning watching "Leave it to Beaver" with my children, (and a few other fifties sitcoms) here are some of the wonderful advantages of being a 50's housewife:

1.  You get to wear pretty dresses all day, which flatter your perfect figure.
2.  Your dresses conveniently never get dirty from the labors of child rearing/home-making.
3.  You get to live in a big, beautiful house, with a good yard.
4.  You can get your hair professionally done every morning.
5.  You get to have retro-furniture without having to pay retro-furniture prices.
4.  You get to cook on a stove that was made in the 50's, and it wouldn't be over fifty years old!
5.  Your husband is amazing. He is well respected by everyone in the community, even his children!  (Not that my own non-fifties husband isn't amazing but I am just sayin)
6.  You get to hire a maid to do most of your housework.
7.  The most naughty thing your children conceive of doing is bringing home a baby alligator and try to raise it in secret, therefore they steal food from your fridge to feed the alligator.
8.  Your husband is successful, and you can afford a big beautiful house without having two incomes.
9.  You don't have an out of your house job, and yet you have a maid do a majority of your cleaning.
10.  Since you don't have a job, and someone else does most of the cleaning, you get to do tea with your friends every day.
12. You might suddenly look around and discover that your children are missing.  No worries, they probably just went downtown to buy candy alone.
13. There are no computers, internet, and very little amount of television.  Your children spend their days inventing things and playing in their neighbors yards.
12.  Because there is no media, you don't have to worry at all about what kinds of creepy things they might accidentally see on T.V. or on their cell phones.
13.  It is acceptable and common practice to greet your new neighbors with flowers and other nice things.
14. Your neighbors all know and like each other.
15.  Your conflicts are minimal, and when they occur they always get resolved within 30 minutes, with a giant family hug.
16.  You get to serve your family delicious food while your husband reads the paper.  Food which your maid probably fixed up, leaving you with only the responsibility of stirring the pot every now and then, thus allowing you to save the energy up to serve your family with a warm, kind loving glow and a big smile on your face.

Who wouldn't want to be a stay at home 50's housewife?

Guess who???

Can you guess who all these little boys are?  Let me give you a few hints: there are eleven of them.  They all share the same grandparents....that's right these are the James Cousins!  They are finally together, and here they are all lining up for a family picture, with their fun t-shirts that "Cowboy Cool" made them.  Can you believe that all of these children plus eleven adults spent nine days in an A framed cabin cabin together? And no one ran off into the woods screaming? Look!  Some of us are even still able to laugh and smile.  What a Miracle. "With God all things are possible."

We've been gone

Hello.  It has been a while. But I am here, and  I wanted to share something with you:  You see, me and my family, we went away for a while. Far far away we went. Not only were we gone from our home, our friends, our garden and our Church, but there was also an inescapable void in the universe.  This James completely disappeared from any technological connectivity. Yes, my friends.  That really means what you think it doe: No you tube.   No cell phones.  No internet at all, not even google. Nothing. What are we without all of these things?

I would like to share with you, reader, what I experienced during this painful withdraw.  I would like to tell you about all the things I missed out on, while traipsing through the wilderness, completely and utterly..... unconnected. (Gasp!!!)

And what, I wonder did I miss out on?  Well, let me tell you:

-I missed out on SO many weird tips for stay at home moms to loose weight.

-I missed out on seeing what many of my friends and acquaintances ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

-I missed out on seeing our president, caught in every imaginable expression known to mankind.

-I missed out on the warmth and glow of a computer screen.

-I missed out on lots of exercise for my fingers, particularly my index finger. Sadly, that finger has grown weak from misuse.  It can no longer type the way it used to.

-I missed out on seeing my husbands face glowing in all sorts of shapes and colors, as I listened to the sound of Marge Simpson's voice saying "Homey......." over and over again.

-I missed out on being informed that a thunderstorm was coming.

-I missed lots of very useful parenting advice on yahoo news.  Lets just face it.  How can we parent properly without the advice of yahoo news?

-I missed out on lots of what I termed: "News."

-I missed out on the opportunity to share every moment I experience with everyone I have ever known.

-And finally, and perhaps most tragically, I missed out on being able turn to Google for all the answers in life. Because of this, I fear that I may have missed out on the meaning of life altogether.  For at least three weeks.

Lo and behold, we are back.  I did not know it, but all of these things were patiently waiting for my return. Hello internet world......